Gardening? But my show’s on!
“Gary and Charlene Singley have surrounded a pool not with grass and perennials but with tiles and brick, pots of geraniums and ivy, and speakers that carry music or the blow-by-blow plays of a game. Low-maintenance plants like Spanish lavender, olive trees and Italian cypress offer greenery without stress.
“I deadhead roses occasionally,” Mrs. Singley, 57, said.
But it’s the $3,000 42-inch plasma television over the fireplace on the loggia that has lately captured Mr. Singley’s heart. “Gary wanted it big enough so that he could see the game while he was barbecuing at the other end of the loggia,” Mrs. Singley said.” (Yep, this is a photo of an actual outdoor TV–so waterproof you can turn the hose on it. Only three grand, folks. Imagine, watching HGTV from the comfort of your very own G.)
And that’s not all: one nonplussed former gardener complains that she prefers video games: ” “The results are so much quicker, with a beginning, middle and conclusion in 30 minutes,” she said. “With gardening, you plant a bulb and it blooms in three months.”
Oh, that poor dear. Imagine not being able to finish something in thirty minutes. How did that Sistine Chapel ever get painted?
The owner of White Flower Farm, Eliot Wadsworth, laments this change, noting that “They order later. They haven’t read our catalog. They allocate a single weekend in spring to do all the garden work.”
Oh, gardening. It’s so tiring. It’s too hard. It’s boring. It takes too long. I don’t have time in my busy life. Honey, where’s the remote?
White Flower Farm has responded by offering pre-planned gardens you just stick in the ground and water. I say forget it, Eliot. If they don’t want to get their hands in the dirt, screw ’em. Let them watch TV.