Couldn’t we all, really?

“Those paperwhites and other daffodils sure could use a drink — a little whiskey, vodka gin or tequila could keep them from falling over. ”

Gin has the opposite effect on me, but OK, I’m listening. A study at Cornell showed that sharing happy hour with the houseplants would stunt their growth. In the case of paperwhites, that means that they’ll bloom on short, stocky stems instead of falling over.

What I really love about the story is this little tidbit: “Last year, Miller received a call from The New York Times about a reader who had written to the garden editor claiming that gin had prevented some paperwhite narcissi from growing too tall and floppy and asked if it was because of some “essential oil” in the gin. “

Of course! Some New Yorker just decided to, oh, I don’t know–empty her Martini pitcher into the flower pot. Why not? It’s the holidays, and Manhattan gets so festive that time of year. Drink up, girls!

The researchers, spoilsports that they are, used ethanol in their plant studies. Come on, the rest of us live in the real world. Would my tulips prefer a Cosmo or a dry Martini? You don’t expect me to waste perfectly good booze figuring this out myself, do you?

Tipsy flowers don’t tip over

Thanks to Mirabilis for digging this one up.