Introducing the Insta-Garden
The Park’s Seed Company made the big mistake of sending me an e-mail about their new pre-planned “landscape collections.” That’s right, you can purchase your entire garden with just the click of a mouse. What a relief not to have to hassle with driving all the way to the nursery, choosing your own plants, and then hauling them home and deciding where they go! Today’s busy homeowner doesn’t have time for all that!
Park’s has made it so easy by choosing a nice selection of utterly unmemorable plants that will complement any home and, for that matter, any gardener. (I have often felt that blandness is a much-underrated quality in a garden.) You’ll get a couple of birch trees, some flowering cherries, a pair of Japanese maples, some daylilies, some hydrangeas, and even some ornamental grasses. It’s “an ideal combination” that will provide “long-lasting color and multi-season interest.”
Oh, but that’s not all. You can also spend a thousand bucks on a shady landscape collection just bursting with hostas and astilbe, or, for twelve hundred, a Welcoming Driveway collection (to give you something to look at during that long trip down the driveway) that includes crepe myrtles, spirea, and 300 of something called Dwarf Mondo Grass. (“Honey, let’s take a drive down the driveway today. The Dwarf Mondo Grass is supposed to be beautiful this time of year.”)
There you have it, folks. Just stick those plants in the ground and you’ve got yourself a landscape.